| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Mindseye |
Posted - 29 Oct 2019 : 06:13:25
What kind of Jokes would be told in a tavern?
I want to have a funny background patron with a list of jokes to rattle off in the background (or perhaps just the punchlines that the party walks in on the end of).
Anybody have any jokes they'd like to share? |
| 5 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Wooly Rupert |
Posted - 30 Oct 2019 : 00:04:13
 That, sir, was well-written! |
| Icelander |
Posted - 29 Oct 2019 : 23:43:48
Well, this happened on Earth, not the Realms, but it was in a public house with a troubadour playing, so we can call it a tavern if we squint.
I'm sitting at a table with a crowd of people. Beverages are being consumed, laughs are being had and the poor troubadour can hardly hear himself over our horseplay. At one point, for no very good reason, a guy on the other side of a large table throws a coster at me. I catch it and throw it back.
Only... I didn't notice that behind him, there's a pretty, raven-tressed waitress, walking around taking orders. Obviously, the coster narrowly misses the raucous reveler responsible for its original journey and winds its way, ever so slowly, behind him. He turns his head, I gaze transfixed, we both realize in horror that there is only one possible outcome here as the errant missile homes in on the beauteous barmaid, in the process of turning around.
We're gonna be those guys, inevitably perceived as arrogant douchebags pelting waitstaff with empties* in some misguided attempt at asserting social superiority.
With a cringeworthy *thwock* the coster hits our innocent working-class heroine in the face.
There is an imperceptable eternity of apparent silence.
I realize that time is still marching inexorably onwards, as the shocked waitress looks our way, across the crowded common room, searching out the vile villains who had so rudely assaulted her in the performance of her hospitable duties.
Without skipping a beat, appearing for all the world as if he had been ribaldly regaling us with an amusing anecdote this entire time, and consequently could not have been involved in any coster-related shenanigans**, my erstwhile target and abominable partner in crime supplied the loud and boozy punchline to a nonexisting joke:
"....So I says to her, I says, the brasserie was in the other drawer!"
To this day, I have no idea what the joke is. But damn if the entire mortified table didn't burst into relieved laughter so spontaneous and genuine that the ill-used waitress could not possibly suspect us of duplicity or the hurling of tableware, leaving her confused as well as coster-ed and possibly lightly concussed.
*In the looming horror of impending catastrophe, the comparatively innocuous coster has assumed mythical proportions, as time stands still, easily at least as bad as an empty beer bottle in our imaginations, if not a Molotov cocktail of flammable social judgement in the form of misattributed class hatred.
**So insouciant did he appear that it is questionable any observer would have credited he had even ever heard of such a thing as a coster, let alone a flying one unleashed from his approximate location. |
| Wooly Rupert |
Posted - 29 Oct 2019 : 16:00:58
quote:
Originally posted by Mindseye
What kind of Jokes would be told in a tavern?
I want to have a funny background patron with a list of jokes to rattle off in the background (or perhaps just the punchlines that the party walks in on the end of).
Anybody have any jokes they'd like to share?
Honestly, I think it'd be like any other place: the jokes depend on the crowd.
If you go with just the punchline, you can make up anything -- the PCs walk in, hear some guy say something like "A mind flayer? I thought my wife had stopped speaking to me!" and people immediately break out laughing.
Your characters are just as likely, though, to encounter a bard singing a humorous and possibly ribald song. "Who wants to hear the tale of the gnomish paladin and the near-sighted dryad?" |
| Wooly Rupert |
Posted - 29 Oct 2019 : 15:52:01
quote:
Originally posted by ericlboyd
quote:
Originally posted by Mindseye
What kind of Jokes would be told in a tavern?
I want to have a funny background patron with a list of jokes to rattle off in the background (or perhaps just the punchlines that the party walks in on the end of).
Anybody have any jokes they'd like to share?
It's not a joke per se, but I came up with the world's worst name for a minstrel NPC in a Waterdhavian tavern ...
Fu-Bard
:-)
Wow, that is bad... I like it!  |
| ericlboyd |
Posted - 29 Oct 2019 : 11:09:41
quote:
Originally posted by Mindseye
What kind of Jokes would be told in a tavern?
I want to have a funny background patron with a list of jokes to rattle off in the background (or perhaps just the punchlines that the party walks in on the end of).
Anybody have any jokes they'd like to share?
It's not a joke per se, but I came up with the world's worst name for a minstrel NPC in a Waterdhavian tavern ...
Fu-Bard
:-) |
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